Sunday, November 6, 2011


or migraine, said by a friend
yeah, whatever.
I rarely get them.
guess if I'm getting one
that, can be a clear message
that I'm critical

what's wrong with me?
Things seemingly are going smooth
or so, I think
The environment's not that bad
although it's not that perfect, either
I even have this thought
that I've turned out to be
extra annoying
as well as extra annoyed easily
than I used to be
ever since I enrolled here. 
I wonder why.

Am I stopping myself from being me
till I'm reprogrammed 
without me being conscious about it?
Am I enduring too much of it
till it's too hard for me to break down
yet it's too tough for me to vomit it out?
One sure thing -
can't hold myself
from not having any benefactor
This environment somehow rather
exhibits desperation
and it tries to swallow everyone into it
including me
and I'm consumed by it
day by day. 
Oh. I need help
really missed those moment
when the only relationship term
that exists

Been ignoring this problem
for a couple of weeks
nearly gets me "cooked"
Can't blame myself.
Gotta some lessons to revise
some notes to cover
some tutorials to be done
some socializing processes to be handled
etc etc
Didn't even have that time
to check out & keep up with the others
outside the college
nor even update anything here. Sorry.

All these shit
is making me depressed
and feels nothing.
Yes, I'm smiling
but I'm dying
trying not to drag my feet
through this bloody street
called life.
Can't even drop a tear
to relieve this one out.
Hate my hormones.

Till then,

P/S: I need a R & R station.
Oh, maybe I should go to KLCC
and try flying off it
just like Dr Cheng had always said
in his lectures :/

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