Escaping? Hell No.

Assalamualaikum. 

It's not like
I'm running away.
It's not like
I'm trying to escape
It's not like
I'm prioritizing anything else more.
It's not like
I'm washing my hands off
these responsibilities.

How do I escape?
The labyrinth's too deep
and I've gone too far.
P/S: Not my pic. 

Yeah, I admit it.
If I could,
I'd let it off
a long time ago.
BUT I DIDN'T
because I know
because I realize
this is my duty
my assigned task
my designated mission
from the very beginning.
I'm old enough to notice that.

Nevertheless 

sometimes 
I just need a break 
from all these mess ups
I'm just too tired 
to be alert all the time 
to be putting poker face 24/7 
to be hiding these 
keeping it deep inside myself 
with the NSG environment 
at the college 
making it far even worse. 


Do you even know 
what I'm doing at the college? 
Do you even know 
what have I been into all this time?
Do you even know 
how far have I gone through 
all this while?
Now wait.
Seriously
I don't even want you to know
you've suffered much.
yet you should understand 
this is for your sake 
and I won't be doing it 
if it's not because of you 
and because of your Lord up there 
well, He's mine too. 

Sorry for complaining 
he is but a mere mortal 
can't avoid himself 
from being exhausted and all.
After all 
this is a long fight 
and it is uncertain 
of when will the end come. 
What's sure:
The drastic beginning 
is just about to come 
sooner or later
and he could only hope 
things won't get worse 
nor will you broke down 
'cause if you do 
he'll crush into pieces too 
and that's it.

P/S: To my little brother
I'm sorry 
for having you 
involved in this 
in a very young age. 
I love you.